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I Can See Again

by Michael Vining

(Editor's Note: What would it be like to regain one's vision after having seen only light and shadow for eight years? Mike Vining of Minneapolis, Minn., recently had such an experience, and shares his impressions of seeing the world with "new vision," below.)

Is it a miracle, or would it have happened eventually anyway? I don't know, but what I do know is that much of my vision returned in early April 2001, and my increased vision has expanded my view and my viewpoint. I want to share some of my new perceptions with readers of "The Braille Forum." How Did It Happen?

Well, first of all, let me describe my vision as it was on April 1. Until eight years ago, I could see only light and darkness with my right eye, but considered the vision from my left eye to be "partial." However, cataracts had begun to grow on both eyes, and by April 1, I was seeing essentially only light and darkness from both.

Then, when I awoke on April 2, I noticed a difference. I could see lights, and in addition, some shapes.

All day at work, I noticed flashes of light, but I was busy at my computer, concentrating on speech and braille, so I didn't really begin to pay attention to the changes until I started on my trip home. Then I knew that something had changed. I could see traffic and buses; I could read the big print on the sides of the buses and even make sense of the advertisements for radio stations, etc. I could even see some people, including my wife, Elaine, when I arrived home!

I told Elaine that, somehow, my vision had changed and I could actually see lots more than I had just 24 hours before. The vision was somewhat jumbled, but it was vision.

I had not visited my ophthalmologist for so many years that my medical records had been purged. This turned out to be fortuitous since it forced me to visit Minneapolis doctors who are affiliated with the Philips Eye Clinic, a world-renowned facility which performs between 40 and 60 eye surgeries each day.

When the doctors examined me, they found that the lens had detached from the cataract and was floating around. Surgery was indicated, and was, in fact, accomplished, on July 17. Since then, my vision has continued to be better than it had been for the last eight or so years, and I'm becoming more accustomed to making the best use of what I have. New Sights

Here's what it's been like to see again and to make discoveries about the visual images that are now becoming a routine part of my perceptions.

I am a partially sighted person who has read with braille and audiotapes all my life. That will not change.

At first, I noticed many things around my house that I needed to learn to recognize and identify by sight. These included a refrigerator door full of magnets, tables and chairs, even our cats. There's Torey, who is 15 years old, and whom I had seen before. But I had never before seen Crystal, who is only four. I knew that she was gray and white and so I had a picture of how she looked in my "mind's eye." She is indeed gray and white, but her "gray" is much darker than I had imagined.

With the spring coming, the grass looked terrible! I have enjoyed watching it become green and lush with the change of seasons.

I can watch television, but I have found that the pictures that accompany many commercials and entertainment programs move too fast for me to keep up. I can see sporting events, news programs, and the "slow moving" kinds of shows. Cartoons, like "The Simpsons," are still a visual enigma to me, so I just close my eyes and listen.

Bowling has been an interesting experience. I use a left hand rail, and the week after my sight returned, I had to get used to a new way of bowling. That was the last week of regular bowling before the scheduled tournament. If I closed my eyes, I found that I could bowl all right.

Then it was time to practice for the tournament. Because my vision had gotten so bad, I had thought about changing my "category" from partially sighted to blind, but I had never gotten around to doing that, so, in the tournament, I bowled as a partially sighted bowler.

I figured that, if I used my sight along with the rail, I would not put the ball in the channel/gutter, so I did that. I bowled pretty well in the tournament.

We will see what happens this upcoming season. Will my restored vision be a benefit to my teammates, or will it be better for all concerned for me to just close my eyes and depend exclusively on the bowling rail?

Walking around is interesting. I noticed that while I am walking with my mobility cane, people tend to rush to get out of the way. Are they afraid of the cane, or do they respect it, I wonder? I noticed some bad habits on the part of my fellow pedestrians, and I learned that I cannot depend upon watching what other people do when they cross a street to help me make my own decision about when to cross, for far too many pedestrians cross against the light, and wade right out into the traffic stream. I know that I still need to use my orientation and mobility skills, including my cane, and watch and listen for traffic moving on parallel streets.

I do enjoy walking around more than I did before April 2. I notice a lot of people watching, many women wearing pants, especially during winter, and long dresses in the springtime. Cars now look like little spaceships, with their aerodynamic styling.

Now I'm getting to know what people actually look like. I have not seen many of my friends and colleagues in years, and some I had never seen until now. I have even seen myself in the mirror. We are all getting older.

My work environment has changed as well. In mid-April, we moved to new offices, and I have found that my vision has eased the anxiety which might have accompanied my adjustment to the new environment.

I have taken several trips since my vision improved, and I have found that, although I could usually find my way around in hotels with just light perception, the increase in vision does make a nice difference. When I traveled to St. Louis for a bowling tournament, I went on tours of the Anheuser-Busch Brewery, and the Arch. I had taken these same tours just a few years ago, when I depended on perceptions other than sight to appreciate them. It was fascinating to make these same tours with the added benefits of actually seeing what was there.

When my wife and I attended the ACB national convention in Des Moines, I found the experience to have changed dramatically, now that I had some sight. We ended up traveling separately to and from Des Moines, and flying by myself, with my new sense of sight, was an interesting experience. I was able to learn the route through Des Moines' skywalks on the first day, and the next day, when Elaine was able to show me and Minnesota Council of the Blind President Wally Waranka the outside route between the hotel and the convention center, I didn't have a second thought about taking to the streets to get where I needed to go.

On convention tours, I saw my first covered bridge, the house where the movie "Bridges of Madison County" had been filmed, and John Wayne's birthplace. I went on the Des Moines city tour which was particularly interesting because the excellent narration for the ecological exhibit was provided by a woman who is blind. What Has All This Meant to Me?

I have traveled a rather circuitous route as far as my vision is concerned. I began my life as a partially sighted person and then, because of cataracts, progressed to a state of seeing only light and darkness. Now, with some of my vision restored, I am living the life of a partially sighted person again. All of these changes have given me a new appreciation for all that we who are blind go through on a daily basis. Some of us who are totally blind do pretty well getting around and dealing with all the aspects of our daily lives. Others of us, even those of us with some useful vision, can need a little more help than we might wish. I guess the statement, "Everybody's different," is always true no matter what our visual acuity happens to be at any given moment.